Writing to Listen. Writing to Grieve. Writing for Change.

By Maureen St. Clair, Compassionate Listening Facilitator

I reach for my journal often these days, a way to ground, to find some kinda sureness in these unsure heart wrenching times. I touch base regularly within the pages and witness a surprising recurring theme, the unshakeable goodness within all of us, within all of humanity. I believe this even while witnessing broadcasted genocides globally day in and day out. I believe turning away from the devastation is not an option in maintaining this belief, therefore I write.

I write to lean into discomfort, into the many conflicted (personal and collective) wounded parts inside/ outside myself showing up in all my relations, human and more than human. I write to tend, mend, integrate; bring unconscious conscious within a container of words amassing, whittled into existence and shared into the world. I write to show up more whole and real and honest inside and out sharing the good, bad, ugly, broken all held by this belief, the unshakeable goodness of humanity.

I write to tame my mind, this small creature grabbing for multiple diversions, one after the other, lost in the realm of hungry ghosts. I write to understand this addiction of grabbing screens to distract, to ward off the shame of not being enough. I write to understand this insanity of scrolling, the new age colonization of attention, intentionally designed to keep us collapsed, fearful, occupied. I write to unravel, unearth the collective unconscious, the collective shadow and then I write to share this beneath the beneath knowing, that we belong to one another. I write to understand this deep need for all of us to show up to the whole of our stories, the social-historical-ideological narratives paramount in understanding ourselves and others and why violence is also a mishappen antidote to our universal

need for belonging.

I write to grieve so I’m better able to share that grief out in the world either through shared writing or holding communal grief circles or listening on the streets to people’s deepest sorrows, confusions, anger; all pathways in connecting to the humanity of all; I write to listen to all that is going on inside and outside so I am better able to take the next loving step forward, at any given time, into the messiness of humanity (even if the next loving step is rage, rage made conscious by writing).

I write to seek, deepen find beloved communities of support; communities to grieve collectively, communities who recognize this period of darkness and who are also seeking practices of deepening into what writer and psychotherapist, Francis Weller coins the long dark; I write to speak to the ancestors who I believe are lovingly cheering us onwards in this unraveling of shame, centuries of shame living in our bodies. I write to unlearn, unravel, unshame shame to better understand shame as a historical and systemic means of control, ‘shame is colonized grief’, a term I learnt from grief activist, Malkia Devich Cyril.

I write to explore, discover, reconfirm what is my path, what is mine to do in these times and I also write to lose the path, repair and reconcile the path; I write to explore capacity and limitations so I can honor and embody more fully what is my role in these times of torrential change. Writing returns me to myself over and over scattered, bewildered, rageful, full of delight, joyful, fearful and full of wonder. Writing helps me find my way through the violent muddle of all that is presently going on in the world. Writing is my spiritual weapon and in its many forms, helps me identify other spiritual weapons whether painting, protesting, facilitating, coaching and/or holding space for people longing to find their way back to themselves, their purpose in this mad exquisite world.

I write to end with An invite: Come write, listen, grieve, witness, share, build beloved community all while exploring what is ours to do in this mad, beautiful, traumatized, unshakeably good world.

I am presently collaborating with The Compassionate Listening Project to offer a three part interactive online series called Writing to Listen, Writing to Grieve, Writing for Change (check out here: https://www.compassionatelistening.org/events-1/writing-to-listen-writing-to-grieve-writing-for-change

I hope you can join us this September!

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Maureen St. Clair is a conflict coach, facilitator, and trainer with over 20 years of experience co-creating brave enough spaces for people to authentically grapple and reckon with conflict as a pathway to vision, purpose, action, and change.  Maureen is a board-certified psychosynthesis coach, serving as an embodied conflict coach in the areas of life transitions, anti-racism, and relationship building.

Maureen worked at the Coady International Institute facilitating programs with community leaders throughout the world for over 15 years, and is the co-founder of The Grenada Listening Project and The People’s Listening Project. She holds space individually and collectively with groups and people struggling with cultural, gender, class, and racial differences within their friendships, intimate partners, family members, and work colleagues. 

Maureen also works with folks moving through life transitions and those longing to find what is theirs to do in a traumatized, unjust world. As an artist herself, Maureen also has a keen interest in supporting artists laboring to move their projects/ideas/dreams forward. 

Maureen carries a deep-rootedness in transformative learning and community practice. She believes in the creative force of nonviolent conflict for personal and social change and the critical importance of honoring our lived experience. Maureen invites individuals to reflect on and work towards transforming relationships at personal, interpersonal, and systemic levels with a focus on compassionate communication, transformative conflict analysis skills and tools, and the creative arts. Her expertise supports inner work for healthy relationships as a means of empowering the outer work of growing justice through impacting systems and structures.