The Compassionate Listening Project

MidEast Citizen Diplomacy

July 2001

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COMPASSIONATE LISTENING MEMBER UPDATES

Compassionate Listening participants, May 2000, Jerusalem

We asked our past participants to tell us how Compassionate Listening has affected them and how they're using it in their lives now. Here are their inspiring updates and stories:

Erik van Praag
Amsterdam, Holland
My Compassionate Listening trip in March 2001 deepened my understanding of and capacity for Compassionate Listening. It touched me deeply and helped me to stay more open and compassionate. I experienced that when people are listened to compassionately, miracles can happen. I apply this insight in my work as a consultant in the corporate world.

My connection with the Palestinian-Israeli conflict goes on as well. I am connecting with the Dutch movement for peace in Israel/Palestine. I'm also setting up an empowerment training (including a train-the-trainer program) for teachers and friends of the Hope Flowers School in Bethlehem.

Charlotte Whitney and Bill Thomson
Ann Arbor, Michigan
We recently returned from a brief trip to Jerusalem and the West Bank, where Charlotte and colleague Peter Dougherty provided a two-day training in active nonviolence for Israeli peace groups, and Bill gave a workshop at Birzeit University on the prevention and treatment of psychological trauma. Both also traveled to Beit Jala where they paid respects to the family of a man killed in the recent attack there, and in addition visited several victims of recent shelling.

Rabbi Andrea Cohen-Kiener
West Hartford, Connecticut
I have tried several formats in the Hartford area to bring together Jews, Moslems and other Arab-Americans for dialogue and counsel. This is a slow process with instructive moments along the way.

As much as I'd love to bring everyone to the table - I recognize that the work here must be slow, careful and rightly guided, no less than on our delegations to Israel/Palestine.

At this time, I have a number of Jewish and Moslem allies. We have begun to plan an event for the Jewish High Holiday season. My congregation is all for it and the committee will begin to meet this month.

We plan to meet on the first day of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish high holiday, September 18th in the afternoon. The themes of the holiday are repentance, rememberance and openness to God's will. The Torah lessons read on that day include the story of the expulsion of Ishmael and Hagar and the Binding of Isaac. What important themes for us to explore with our Moslem colleagues! We plan to use both Moslem and Jewish prayers and teachings to facilitate the experience. We plan to pray, converse and seek guidance together. Stay tuned for an update!

Ahmed Khalil
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Compassionate Listening has made me more aware of different perspectives. When discussing the Mid-East conflict with peers and family, I always implore them to consider the other side and to remember that consideration must be made before judgment. Outside of the conflict, Compassionate Listening has instilled patience in the academic and personal circles of my life. Finally, it has also made me stronger in monitoring my listening skills and adjusting them accordingly.

Personally, I have made a difficult decision in my life. I recently accepted an invitation to attend the Peace Corps in Jordan, where I will be a business advisor for youth and women's groups. As a result, I have delayed my graduate studies in law for two years. This opportunity, nevertheless, will enrich my understanding of the Arabic culture and allow me to help the country develop economically. This will also advance my ability to advocate important Arab causes upon my return to obtain my law degree.

Rabbi David Zaslow
Ashland, Oregon
Ever since my Compassionate Listening experience to Israel and the territories in January, 1998, I have felt a deepening of the "listening technology" within me. I have found myself more compassionate, more centered, and more careful in my judgments. In Judaism our motto is "Listen O Israel" not "look" and not "come up with solutions O Israel."

To hear is to receive the Divine message in the white space between words. It is to be receptive to that which might not seem logical on the outside. For instance, as terrible as the current situation is in the Middle East today, my hope for tomorrow is greater than ever. Something in me is listening to a deeper message.

If I were to respond too quickly on an emotional level to the news reports, I could never hear this message of hope. Muslims and Jews have a common destiny, and the Compassionate Listening process is a part of that destiny.

King David chanted, "Sha-a-lu shalom Yerushalayim"-pray for the peace of Jerusalem!

Carol Hwoschinsky
Ashland, Oregon
The Compassionate Listening Guidebook is now complete! We have found interest from the general public as well as for people actively involved in this work. It's exciting to see it take wings.

My present focus is setting up a training in Israel for Israelis who want to learn these skills and ultimately teach them. We are aiming for a two consecutive weekend residential workshop for Israeli Jews and Arabs. We'll be taking a small team of our delegates to conduct the training. Hopefully, this will expand and win the hearts of an ever growing group of courageous people.

I was interviewed recently on local public television - the whole focus was on the Compassionate Listening Project. Every chance we have to take this to a broader group is rewarding.

Ashland is participating in a Women in Black demonstration on June 8 and we have been bringing speakers to the University to educate us on many positions and viewpoints.

Dorothy Field
Victoria, BC, Canada
Since my return from Israel with Leah, I've worked with the help of my Jewish women's group in Victoria trying to share some of the experience. We showed Children of Abraham and led a discussion at the Jewish Community Center. Last summer I self-published a chapbook of poems based on my time in Israel and the West Bank. Currently, I'm active in an alternative dialogue group within the Jewish community. We plan to host events and bring in speakers who can represent a progressive view of the Middle East situation. We are very proud that we have the support of the JCC to use their facilities for our meetings and events. This hasn't been easy since there's been some angry resistance to allowing us to use the space. Fortunately the community has rallied to support openness and multiple views. On June 8, we are organizing a Women in Black vigil in support of Bat Shalom's call for international vigils that day.

Yehudah Winter and Munteha Shukrallah
Portland, Oregon
Portland now has five veterans of the Compassionate Listening Project with four of them having gone on the last delegation, two for the second time!

We sponsored the Middle East Peace Quilt project in January and follow-up for that has included several Compassionate Listening introductions, appearance on panels, and a day long Compassionate Listening Workshop scheduled in September that will bring Leah back to Portland.

Munteha will be co-leading the Syrian delegation and has been meeting with local dignitaries to establish more contacts. Yehudah has received mediation training and experience and is starting to learn Syrian Arabic in preparation for the journey. He'll be showing the "Seeds of Peace" video to a youth forum for local high school students.

Ginger Riley
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
I am a compassionate listener from the April, 1999 delegation. I attended a refugee conference entitled "Storytelling for Healing" on April 20, 2001, in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. If we can listen compassionately to another person's story, whether it is their life experience as a refugee or as a victim of abuse or trauma, it is a very important part of their healing process to be able to tell their story to a good listener. Many of them suffer from depression -- deep sadness, feeling hopeless or worthless, no energy, and thoughts about dying.

Just as Compassionate Listening can be used as a tool in conflict resolution, it can also be used as a tool to promote healing and intergenerational understanding in the art of "storytelling."

Ken Suslak
Boulder, Colorado
I will present a paper on "The Compassionate Listening Project," at the World Assembly for Mental Health, taking place in Vancouver, BC, Canada from July 22-27, 2001.

Ellen Barfield
Baltimore, Maryland
Now that I have come into the late 20th century (I'm on line but certainly not outfitted with the latest computer equipment), I have been using the heart-rending email stories from Israel and Palestine in several columns I have written lately for a monthly Baltimore tabloid paper. It's good to be able to expand the reach of those stories rarely seen in the one-sided U.S. media.

I was in Iraq again last October with Veterans for Peace. We helped rebuild a water treatment plant near Basra. No other trips planned any time soon.

As a long-time nonviolent activist, I use the Compassionate Listening experience every day to remind myself and others that we all have been hurt, that we all have the capacity for great evil and great good, that it is NEVER ok to condemn anyone, that we all have to get there together.

Leah Green
Indianola, Washington
I recently developed a two-day curriculum for a generic Compassionate Listening workshop. The curriculum includes theory, lots of skill-building exercises, role-plays, and listening sessions. I held my first two-day workshop in the U.S. on Mother's Day weekend at a beautiful local retreat center. With assistance from Helen Bruner and Peter Hwoschinsky, I worked with 16 participants, using a highly experiential format. We received excellent feedback and evaluations from the participants, so I am ready to schedule workshops in various places within the United States. I have a couple of private workshops scheduled this summer and another two-day workshop set for November 16-18th at Camp Indianola. With the new guidebook from Carol Hwoschinsky, we're finally ready to respond to all the requests we receive for training throughout N. America especially. It's very exciting!

Rabbi Phil Bentley
New Hyde Park, New York
My experience with Compassionate Listening (January, 1998) has had at least two benefits for me. First of all, it was a confirmation of my long-held belief that all sides in an arena of conflict must be listened to in order to begin the process of reconciliation. Second, it is impossible for me to discuss and argue the issues of the current violence in Israel/Palestine without acknowledging the humanity of both Israelis and Palestinians. The level of dehumanization of both sides by each other is a serious barrier to reasonable discussion and to solutions.

I am currently seeking new work. My contract with my congregation ends in two months and I am hoping to find employment either with an organization that works in pursuit of justice and peace or with a school or other institution where I can teach. I continue to work with the Jewish Peace Fellowship and with other organizations, but my search for new employment is my most important (to me) activity at present.

Compassionate Listener Allen Green with Palestinian leader Faisal Husseini, November 1999

Allen Green
Sacramento, California
I am using my Compassionate Listening skills as president of the Cottage Park Neighborhood Association. I have organized meetings between our Supervisor, a delegation of local property owners, and the landlord who is the single owner of the most land in the area, which have progressed communication between all parties.

Heena and Stephen Reiter
Earlysville, Virginia
In May, I was guest speaker at a meeting of the Episcopalian Diocesan Ecumenical and Interfaith Commission of Virginia. They were interested in hearing about Compassionate Listening, as a modality that might be useful in their interfaith and ecumenical work. They found my description of Compassionate Listening in Israel and Palestine to be very useful. They were particularly appreciative of learning about the ways Compassionate Listening can be used when listening to people whose views are in conflict with one's own. The meeting provided me an opportunity to learn about the inspiring bridge-building work going on within the Christian community. Finally, the members of the commission had an opportunity to practice their Compassionate Listening skills, as they listened to an answer to their query about what it takes for Jews to relate comfortably to Christians.

In February, Steve and I had the opportunity to speak at a public event, sponsored by the Ethical Humanists' Society of Charlottesville, about our experiences with the Compassionate Listening Project. At that meeting was a Palestinian-American man and his wife who had been long-term members of a Jewish-Palestinian Dialogue Group in New York State, and had moved to the Charlottesville area in the past year and a half. He was delighted to learn of our local Jewish-Palestinian dialogue group, and joined it at our next meeting.

Our local Jewish-Palestinian dialogue group continues to meet. Our gatherings continue to be times to appreciate one another as people and to support the possibility of understanding between us. We are considering creating a public performance piece that would illustrate the ways in which Jewish and Palestinian experiences of oppression, exile, violence and longing are similar. The idea would be to gather stories and historical documentation and compile it into vignettes that could be presented publicly. We welcome contributions, and are especially interested in stories which, in their telling, are not immediately recognizable as either Jewish or Palestinian.

I am about to undertake my first serious attempt at bringing forth a vision of how my community might constructively respond to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It may surprise you to know that this conflict is a topic that is not talked about much within the one-and-only synagogue community of Charlottesville. My sense is that the level of anxiety about discussing it is high because everyone fears the eruption of major conflict among members of the community. I will be meeting with the rabbi next week, to talk about making it possible for the local Jewish community to respond to the suffering of the people, to learn about what is happening in people's lives, and to engage with groups and organizations that support the healing and well-being of the people of Israel and Palestine. I hope to remain clear that the focus of the work would be responding to the suffering and supporting the healing and well-being of the people. I have a lot of concern about making any sort of proposal, as the silence on the subject has been so persistent, and I will be breaking a taboo by suggesting we provide a way for the members of the community to become involved. I am aware that the discussions, when they have occurred, have tended to become politicized and polarized quickly. I do believe, however, that the Jewish community will ultimately be grateful to have ways to contribute to easing the pain of all the people in the region, and that this focus will ultimately be effective. (Keep this work and me in your prayers.)

Bernie Meyer
Tacoma, Washington
At this point, I am using Compassionate Listening in my work with organizational development! The three human concerns organizations I am involved with are each in dysfunctional modes. We need to listen to each other. With one of the organizations I am co-planning a listening process that will lead to both program and organizational planning. I am also organizing my knowledge and skills to be used in both nonviolence training and action/campaign activities.

Sister Mary K. Milne
Old City, Jerusalem
I live in the Old City of Jerusalem where I nightly hear the shelling in Beit Jala. Since the March, 2001 delegation, I have been an "observer" at the Bethlehem checkpoint, standing alone with the soldiers, watching what they do, and speaking with the Palestinians as they wait. I report various situations there to the Israeli Women of "Machsom Watch" and I eventually hope to get an international group of women doing this checkpoint observation with me. I participated in the Bethlehem checkpoint march sponsored and attended by Israelis, Palestinians and internationals. That march that was highly successful, as we broke through the checkpoint.

I attended the nonviolence workshop given in Jerusalem by the Ann Arbor Team and was delighted to see so many Israelis there. I went with Neta Golan and other internationals to participate in the peaceful march through the olive groves at Deir Istya and was met with Israeli army violence in the form of tear gas and rubber-coated metal bullets.

I often go to the Bethlehem area, especially Beit Sahour, bringing cash or goods to the Rosary Sisters, who in turn share the money or foodstuffs with those in need. I visit Caritas Baby Hospital where children who have been injured in this conflict are often hospitalized.

On May 21, I had a great visit with the Christian Peacemaker Team in Hebron and brought some items to the Atta Jaber family (they are back in their home and are expecting their new baby in about 45 days!). I also did some Compassionate Listening with the daughter of the founder of Kiryat Arba. She called one of the Christian Peacemakers "Nazi" and demanded to know what I was doing at the new settlement site (progress was supposed to be halted) which is being built over a Byzantine monastery. When I explained that I was an archaeologist, (who did work in Petra) and that my friend was not a Nazi, but a Christian, and how my sisters had hidden 130 Jews in our convent and saved their lives, the settler melted. She told the teenager in the backseat who was yelling at me, to "shut up" and we departed on friendly terms. The member of CPT was amazed. Thanks to Leah, I've learned a few things that really help.

I e-mail news from here out to a wide list of people, and continue to write for "Olive Branch" (a newsletter about the situation here published by the Latin Patriarchate) and to broadcast weekly for EWTN.

I attend the Sabeel meeting (a local action group) regularly. I am sustained in my ministry in the West Bank and Jerusalem by daily prayer and the dear friends who keep in contact, including members of the March, 2001 delegation. (Oh yes, and I came over here to learn Arabic...)