July 2002
Listening Shop
Book Review
Listening with the
Heart:
A Guide for Compassionate Listening
by Carol Hwoschinsky
reviewed by Judith Broadus, for the Association for the Advancement of of Psychosynthesis newsletter, Spring 2002
"When people are suffering, the panacea is listening."
This book could not be more timely! This writing was inspired by the heroes who have stood up for peace in the midst of the continuing warfare between Israelis and Palestinians. Here is a psychosynthesis writer who credits her training throughout the book starting with her acknowledgments, "...and the training staff of the Psychosynthesis Institute of San Francisco, where I first learned to listen to myself."
The core of this book is compassion and the foundation is contained in its symbol, a holarchy, "used throughout this guidebook to imply compassion [as] the basic principle of being upon which all increasingly complex relationships and communication is based." Anyone committed to working with people, individually or organizationally, will find guidance from this very practical paperback book.
In the first section of the book, we learn what compassionate listening is, how it is developed, and what can be expected from the resulting benefits. This book does not equivocate about the necessity of recognizing and encountering our own suffering and vulnerability for compassion to fully arise, and yet, to fully be present to another without polarizing and taking sides, "We are stretching our capacity to be present and to include pain without making it our own."
Part Two teaches us how to practice. A quote from the author demonstrates the sensitivity she brings to the process, "The art of creating understanding is like weaving a fabric from the many threads of silence, timing, delicate balance between assertiveness and receptivity. Listening is at the core." The craft of this work begins with ourselves, primarily, learning centering and presence fully. This individual preparation precedes skill acquisition, including such fundamentals as strategic questioning, reflective listening, working with anger and other emotions, working with cultural differences, and learning styles of resolving conflict.
In Parts Three and Four, the focus is 'How to be involved.' The natural flow from compassion leading to inner work and skill acquisition is followed by a range of applications. Study groups, dialogue groups, community projects, facilitation training, mediation, negotiation, group process skills, and teaching compassionate listening are all suggested for possible levels of involvements. The author includes descriptions of different compassionate listening projects with summaries of their training. The largest, and most delicate, efforts are focused through MidEast Citizen Diplomacy. The Alaska Project uses a method of desensitization by increasing exposure to differing parties, while another, Rural Southern Voice for Peace, conducts door-to-door listening interviews. An appendix of useful additional exercises contains many practical ideas including preparation, creating safety, team building, clarifying purpose, values clarification, role-plays, forgiveness guidance, emotional work exercises, and centering practices.
This affordable paperback book is clearly designed and intended to be used. It is recommended as an addition to our bookshelves. The vision guiding this book is vast and so many practical ideas are here. We can all benefit from finding a copy of our own to share with the world.
The Compassionate Listening Project
PO Box 17, Indianola, Washington, 98342, USA
(360) 297 2280, www.compassionatelistening.org
ISBN # 0-9715871-0-8
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